Singles mingle at the "Meet Market" Valentine's Day event held at RA Sushi on Mill Avenue. Photo by Nicole Ethier.
When I picture speed dating, I picture lonely people in their late 30s to early 40s, who can’t get a date, bumbling in conversation and hoping someone out of this random group of strangers is “the one.” (Disclaimer: This shouldn’t be taken offensively if you for some reason identify with that category. Peace and Love, yo!)
That definitely wasn’t the scene at RA Sushi’s “Meet Market” speed-dating event on Mill Avenue. First, the crowd was young and hip. There was a DJ spinning tunes and a crowded bar on the back patio as speed daters donning name tags attempted to get some liquid courage before the big date. Or should I say, “dates.“
Some were mingling, some were standing around awkwardly and unsure of what to do. (I’m not going to point fingers, but I may have been one of them.) After about a half hour, a RA employee began the event. There were about nine tables set up. Names were called and a woman from the crowd sat at each table. Then a group of men’s names were called, and each filled in an empty chair opposite a woman at each table. They were given three minutes to get to know each other while music played. Those who were not part of the first round continued to drink and mingle. A horn would go off and the men would rotate to the next table.
Unfortunately, participants weren’t able to meet everyone, just those who were selected in the same round. There was no need to worry about rejection or rejecting someone else because at the end of the three minutes they moved on and you could either talk to them more after the whole speed dating thing if you stuck around the bar or take off. No hard feelings.
I was part of the third round, and everyone I met was friendly and pleasant. They all were vastly different reflecting the overall mix of people in the crowd. I must note, I gave a fake name and fake background just in case they were curious and wanted to look up anything I’ve written. I don’t know if this was necessary, but it was fun in the slightest to be a new person with every new “date” I met. However, next time (and I do think this is something I would do again) I would just be myself and go with a group of friends and make a night of it because it’s way easier than trying to keep up with some fake life story.
So to end, speed dating = not so weird. But check out the experience of my fellow SPMer, Jacqueline Valle. She says:
Now I know how incredibly ridiculous it may sound to go speed dating, but it is something that everyone should experience at least once.
I went in thinking there was either going to be a bunch of old people or a bunch of unattractive single bachelors. I was proven wrong the minute I walked into the setting and became intrigued.
Some people had gone in groups with their friends and were really amped about meeting new people.
I was in round three with about 10 guys that rotated as I sat in the same place talking about myself. I normally would think it’s awkward that I technically went on 10 dates in 30 minutes …
I should probably add that I used a pseudo name, Stella, with which every man decided I gave him something to talk about. One guy actually yelled out “steeeelllaaaaaaa” while others asked if I was a fan of the beer.
Ultimately, speed dating is better than being on an awkward first date with someone, because there’s only three minutes to talk.
I think if you’re going, try it to meet new people; you should definitely do it with a group and be open to the event. It may sound silly but the turn out could actually be better than you expect. I’m not saying you’re going meet your true love, but you never know who you can meet.
Contact the reporters at nicole.ethier@asu.edu and jvalle1@asu.edu
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I receive daily Google alerts on the name ‘Ethier’ and often see your writing, Nicole. Even though I am happily married, I did take offense to your opening paragraph. Please note that even though you are obviously younger than the set you describe there, you, yourself, are falling into the ‘lonely who can’t get a real date’ category.
My point here is this: If you are serious and determined about becoming a writer, don’t alienate your reader. Writing without discrimination will be a good lesson for you to learn.
Good luck getting a date.
It’s sounds like you got a more normal than usual crowd of speed daters, compared to my ridiculous experiences. But if you go again and actually do plan to “be open to it,” I’d recommend using your real name, because there’s not much more unappealing (and blogworthy, btw) than having to explain to a guy you’re dating that he doesn’t know your name. I’ve been googled by plenty of speed daters with no adverse consequences so far.