How To: Insult a Wildcat

Insults can be one of the most powerful tools in the world. Insults can start wars, create longstanding feuds and destroy friendships. However, insults can also provide a level of relief in a time of pain. An old coach once told me, “It’s not who wins or loses, but who left the field crying.”

With that, I turn to one of ASU’s favorite target for insults, the University of Arizona. Though ASU may have lost the game, that doesn’t mean we’ve lost the ability to make them cry. Here’s how to insult a Wildcat:

Wear your hate on your sleeve

Sometimes the best way to hate something is to be utterly blatant about it. That’s just what ASU students Adam and Travis promoted when they sold “HATE” T-shirts with the letter “A” made in the likeness of the U of A logo. Both declined to give their last names for fear of being prosecuted for copyright infringement.

“The idea started in 2007 and there’s been a lot of copycats since,” Adam says.

Go for the throat

ASU graduate Blake Lerdall and student Bryan Hadley bleed maroon and gold. Lerdall, a business major, religiously attends games wearing a hard-hat and maroon and gold overalls. Hadley, a history major, was wearing a wig and signature suspenders. The two brought an array of signs with a variety of insults. One sign read “Master = Sendek, Apprentice = Sean Miller” alluding to the U of A basketball coach’s time spent serving under Sendek as an assistant coach for seven seasons at the University of Miami, Ohio, and North Carolina State.

Get Obscure

When all else fails, insults can turn to the outlandish. The city of Tucson, though having nothing directly to do with athletics, is an easy target. Tucson was ranked as the most crime-ridden city in the nation with a population over 500,000 by Sperling’s Best Places.

If insulting the city has already been wasted, go for their mascot. The University of Arizona’s mascot is named Wilbur. Wilbur has an identity crisis because the term “wildcat” can refer to almost any feline from ocelots to domestic cats (but there is only one Sparky). Also, Wilbur lost his bachelor status 1986 when he married Wilma Wildcat. I’m not sure who conducted the ceremony, but how low does your athletic attendance have to get before you start marrying imaginary animals?

Contact this reporter at sbauge@asu.edu

Tagged as: insult, rivalry, sendek, Sparky, U of A, University of Arizona, Wilbur, Wildcat